Help a Friend
To truly help others is to empower them to act on their own behalf. To genuinely help your friend, acknowledge her capacity for self-help, thus avoiding the pitfall of becoming a "rescuer."
Practical things you can do:
Provide her with information about local resources.
Keep in touch.
Listen without judgement.
Mirror her strengths for her.
Be specific about how you are willing to help.
If you see or hear an assault in progress, call the police.
Above all, don't give up.
Provide her with information about local resources.
Women's Support and Community Services provides a 24-hour crisis line: 314-531-2003. A phone resource has the advantage of allowing her to talk anonymously with a counselor familiar with dilemmas common to battered women and the ambivalence she might have about her desperate situation.
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Keep in touch.
Many battered women experience isolation, either imposed by the husband or self-imposed out of humiliation and shame. By letting her know you care, you are extending a lifeline.
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Listen without judgement.
Ask about her situation, directly and gently. Give her ample opportunity to talk. Reinforce your belief that physical violence is never acceptable.
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Mirror her strengths for her:
her skills, talents and abilities. Help her to see her options. By reminding her of what she has already done for herself, you can support her in acting again in her best interest.
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Be specific about how you are willing to help,
whether it is financial help, providing transportation to a women's shelter, or giving her a place to stay.
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If you see or hear an assault in progress, call the police.
Because these assaults are often dangerous, do not physically intervene.
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Above all, don't give up.
It is unlikely she will change overnight. Every bit of your caring patience may be needed to help her break free of the vicious cycle of violence binding her.
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